She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
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