It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
23 Adults Confess The Irrational Fears They Had When They Were Kids
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
These 25 Women First Experienced Sexual Harassment At A Shocking Age
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.