I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
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