I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no