It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
These 25 Women First Experienced Sexual Harassment At A Shocking Age
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
23 Absolutely Despicable Things That People Have Actually Done
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".