Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (857): View more from Massachusetts

  He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  Yo quero taco bell

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  (857): He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef (617): Yo quero taco bell http://tfl.nu/9ye7
  Replies (4) Good night (959) Bad night (1251)
• Favorite

  (703): View more from Virginia

  Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'

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  (703): Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.' http://tfl.nu/veyw
  Replies (55) Good night (1360) Bad night (10877)
• Favorite

  (206): View more from Washington

  Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.

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  (206): Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it. http://tfl.nu/tro9
  Replies (10) Good night (1117) Bad night (1970)
• Favorite

  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.

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  (484): Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner. http://tfl.nu/ytfs
  Replies (14) Good night (7088) Bad night (819)
• Favorite

  (360): View more from Washington

  I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.

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  (360): I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience. http://tfl.nu/k7n6
  Replies (12) Good night (4584) Bad night (939)
• Favorite

  (404): View more from Georgia

  Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.

  (404): View more from Georgia

  Everyone is cheering

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  (404): Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire. (404): Everyone is cheering http://tfl.nu/wh9k
  Replies (4) Good night (2048) Bad night (737)
• Favorite

  (914): View more from New York

  I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.

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  (914): I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements. http://tfl.nu/p1je
  Replies (8) Good night (1508) Bad night (546)
• Favorite

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.

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  (610): You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me. http://tfl.nu/fg9o
  Replies (1) Good night (1203) Bad night (445)
• Favorite

  (204): View more from Manitoba

  I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle

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  (204): I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle http://tfl.nu/o3ji
  Replies (4) Good night (1786) Bad night (405)
• Favorite

  (773): View more from Illinois

  Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.

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  (773): Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh. http://tfl.nu/c68d
  Replies (0) Good night (774) Bad night (417)
• Favorite

  (336): View more from North Carolina

  You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.

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  (336): You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that. http://tfl.nu/r9t5
  Replies (7) Good night (634) Bad night (431)
• Favorite

  (703): View more from Virginia

  I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...

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  (703): I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1... http://tfl.nu/7tjh
  Replies (2) Good night (1238) Bad night (401)
• Favorite

  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.

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  (570): I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls. http://tfl.nu/xtaz
  Replies (6) Good night (357) Bad night (632)
• Favorite

  (707): View more from California

  WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"

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  (707): WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!" http://tfl.nu/knx8
  Replies (5) Good night (369) Bad night (531)
• Favorite

  (631): View more from New York

  Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.

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  (631): Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less. http://tfl.nu/jxdo
  Replies (1) Good night (493) Bad night (287)

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