i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
These 25 Drunks Should’ve Gotten Cut Off A Long Time Ago
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
27 Freshmen Who Really Didn’t Know What They Were Getting In To
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."