i don't plan on having that self control this summer
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
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