apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry