It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE