your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
Randomize
