fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
