marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
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