i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
These 25 People Are Obsessed With Pizza
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
16 Sexual Experiences EVERYONE Should Have At Least Once
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future