found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
23 Concerns People Have When They’re About To Have Sex With Someone New
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
23 Bosses Confess The Craziest Thing They’ve Seen An Employee Do
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.