i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
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Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
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I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.