So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.