I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
