I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Randomize