I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
