I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
