It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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