hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
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And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
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Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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