my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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