So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
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