So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Randomize
