By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
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