Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
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