not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't