No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?