I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems