walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
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She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
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At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!