The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
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i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
These 21 People Shouldn’t Be Giving Dating Advice
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says