Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Randomize
