if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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