Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
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