When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
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