and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
Let's get the cat blown out
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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