just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Do you have feelings for this penis?
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
