I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
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Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
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