This is not my ceiling
I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
What a fucking waste of an outfit
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.