Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me