shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.