so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.