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i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
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