u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.