if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
Dick very happy bro