last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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