I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
Randomize
