Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Randomize
