none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
Randomize
