dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
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we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
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If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize