i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
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