do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize
