he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary