I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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