another moral hangover. fuck.
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
God, you're like boner-b-gone
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
Pants are for mortals
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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