Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
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