she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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