Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
