u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
21 NSFW Facts About Famous Celebrities That Will Blow Your Mind
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
These Are 19 of the Most Horrible Strangers People Had to Sit Next to
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato