eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
