you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
Randomize
