I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Randomize