# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
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