are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
3pm strippers are depressing
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
Randomize
