I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
I supernannyed him into submission
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
