I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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