the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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