I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
19 Unhappily Married People Confess The Red Flags They Ignored
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
These 23 People Destroyed Their Entire Lives In An Instant
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.