when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?